'Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt' - Alfred Souza. Wise words, Mr. Souza! Being 6'3 I have a hard time dancing without people seeing me; and as I gave a hard time to my 6'6 friend Steve about cutting to the front of the concert crowd despite his fears of someone not seeing past him, I needed to give myself a tongue lashing!
I was proud to go through the darkness, and not be ashamed, or guilty or embarrassed to share it. It's how I want to live my life; I want people to know that it's ok to share the darkness, and that we don't have to be happy all the time. It's how one deals with it, it's how one works with it that is crucial. It is a sign to me that something is bothering me, that something needs my attention. I could have continued ignoring my finances, and continued ignoring my fear of advertising my writing for money, but it was just always coming back in the last 2 months: Jason, what the hell you gonna do about money? You don't have enough to make it back!!!!!
So, I'm going to put it off for a few more days, but DAMN I feel a lot more powerful, and a lot more motivated about writing, and photography, and websites, and creativity, all just from being in my pain, and sitting outside for a bit on my canadian lawn chair and thinking about today. What was important? What did I want to do? Anything is possible once I overcome my fears. So nice today to speak with parents on Skype for the first time in their home, and Bonnie, and facebook. Overall a day I chose right from the start, when I asked 'tudo bem?' to a young girl walking you know that awkward time when you're alone on the street with a stranger and you're walking about the same speed well i decided to be open and nice. She didn't respond, so I asked her again, to be met with a nervous nod. she ends up meeting me later down the road and is all nice, and smiling. Gave her a kiss on the cheek as a thank you for practicing my Portuguese. A few other people were met by this friendly Canadian today, and i felt so much lighter by proving to myself that i do have something to say : Good morning!
It was so nice today to go into the Yamaha dealership and see the bike all shined up and ready to go....... it is going to be a real weight off my shoulders to not have so much oil leaking out of the bike, and it will just keep it looking so much nicer. The ignition problem was a battery, which is just strange considering how sudden it happened. It's my fourth in 2 years.....
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