79 days

79 days until departure. 79 days until the comfortable, relaxed, routine of Western Canadian life makes a drastic change. 79 days until I will be on the road from Vancouver, BC to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil on a motorcycle. As the countdown moves ever closer to August 28th, I find myself going through the gamut of thoughts and emotions, not feeling ready, and not having it figured out. 6 months ago, when I had decided to make this trip, I was certain I would have felt better about it than I do now. Then again, the initial excitement was bound to wear off eventually, and be replaced with this, a desire for security, and comfort. What should I make of these contrary motives to my inevitable journey to South America?
Planning a trip is one way to get excited and motivated about it. Reading about all the things to do, seeing pictures of beaches and tropical forests, researching the internet on others who have been there before you. Indeed, a vacation can be more fully exploited the more information one has about the destination. The challenge in my particular case, is that this is not a vacation. This is more of a career change, of sorts. Leaving an 8 -4 job with full benefits, and jumping into a realm of uncertainty, and potential danger is not most people's idea of a smart career move. What is important to consider is all the opportunities, and experiences that come from life changes. None of us really want to lose all the great things we have worked so hard to get, but the hope is that new change will not take away, but instead add to our confidence, our skill sets, and our bank account.
Unfortunately, it doesn't always work out that way. As a Construction Worker in Edmonton, Alberta, I was making $11.10 an hour in 2002, and although I wasn't that happy, I felt safe. After being 'discovered' at a movie theatre by a modelling agent in February of that year, I had flown to Miami for photos and committed to moving to Vancouver, BC by that summer. Upon arrival that September, the apartment that was expected to be waiting for me had not come to fruition. My agent had promised me he would have it all set up on my arrival, and instead I was spending my nights in a backpacker's hostel, and scraping by on the last remnants of a credit card limit. It ended up taking years of hard work, frustration and tears to get out of debt, build friendships in a new city, and feel confident in my abilities. Do I have regrets? Not a one.
We never know what is going to happen when we take a chance, or a risk. Others may look at our decisions and frown upon them as silly, or even reckless, but to that person who feels there is something missing, it can sometimes be the only thing that can give them hope. We arguably live in one of the best countries in the world for standard of living, freedom and quality of life, yet despite this, we still have so many unhappy people. Why is this? At the risk of oversimplifying one of life's great questions, I can say this: we all need hope, and optimism for the future and sometimes, we have to take a big chance. It may not work out the way we expect it to, but the anticipation of the journey alone is worth it in the end.