This blog's for ME

Almost 25 years old, asking my parents if I can sleep in their bed with them. I had thought I was going to be the 25th Prime Minister of Canada. Things had changed. 10 years later, I was still a scared little boy. The time had come to slap myself awake. One Saturday morning, November 19th, 2009, I declared to the world I would be riding my 10 year-old motorcycle from Vancouver, BC Canada to Rio de Janeiro, Brasil, and back.

The official departure was August 28th, 2010. A group of well-wishers saw me off at 8:03 am.

I arrived in Rio de Janeiro around 6 pm March 1st, 2011.



My return to Vancouver came on July 5th, 2011 about 2:00 pm.

Drug & alcohol abuse, ADD, social anxiety, health, chronic pain, night terrors.

So many concerns. But I am far more interested in this question: Do I have the capacity to make this trip despite all my shortcomings?

My mission: To inspire myself to face my fears, enlighten myself on how all living things can peacefully co-exist, enjoy every moment, and see the world as plentiful and generous.

Go ahead. Call me crazy. Call me anything you like.

I'm out to save my world.



I LOVE YOU ALL



Questions, comments, concerns, threats? Contact me: jason.chapman99@gmail.com


New challenges on the path

A Sunday morning sleep in, relaxing breakfast at Café du Soleil (not to be confused with Café deux Soleil), free admission to Van Dusen gardens, and a BBQ full of engaging people in a gorgeous house in Shaugnessy seemed fitting preparation for what was to come.

A late night phone call to my parents was expected to be nothing more than a quick goodnight, and I thought I wouldn't bother Dad for a change, but when my Mom asked if I wanted to speak to him, I was pleasantly surprised. After exchanging pleasantries, he asked me "So, what's this about writing?" I was taken aback, and answered "Uh..... yeah". "Uh... yeah", he replied. Turns out he was quite upset at the thought of me writing my life story in the local newspaper, and had visions of himself having to leave town, overwhelmed with the entire town knowing all about his personal life. Fortunately I was able to hear his concern, and not take it personally. Meanwhile Bonnie dumped purple juice all over her pants, and threw the carton out of the car, all the while my dad is getting more and more agitated.

After a potentially explosive situation, it was diffused by assuring him there will be no personal information shared in the paper, and that if anything by me is published, the author's name will be inconsequential. I was pissed off for him putting that on me, but it really reminded me how scared I was as a child to do the things I wanted to do. That fear of public scrutiny was an ever-present omen around our house growing up, as was putting up the appearances for a small town. There is nothing at all wrong with this; we had to survive somehow, and being socially accepted in a small farming community was a part of the puzzle.

My night was complete when Bonnie's ex came knocking on the door, 12 dozen red roses in tow and a promise of untold rewards for taking a risk; leaving me and marrying him. Her and I have had ups and downs most definitely, and whenever we seem to be doing well he jumps into the picture. He's no threat to me, it is just an awkward situation, and leaves Bonnie filled with doubts as to the validity of our relationship, no doubt further pushed with the realization of my departure in 4 months. I was filled with anxiety despite this, as a flood of emotions came over me. Would it have been appropriate to walk down the stairs, open the door, and receive the flowers myself? Should I have invited him in? Perhaps that is what anxiety is in it's base form, restraining oneself from doing that which could lead to further pain, discomfort and anxiety. If dealt with in a calm, mature way though, it could also relieve the situation.

2 comments:

  1. Contraction presents an opportunity for creativity inspired by the will to unity. However the challenge (at the moment you least expect it) needs to be sufficiently intense to sum up all of your courage. Take for example a situation where a friend feels uncomfortable in a social situation - the dumb thing to do is to go along with everyone else, the smart thing is to support them even if it means NOT singing Happy Birthday, AGAIN!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello Jason,

    I really like your blog, and would have left this comment, "Confrontation with contradiction present an opportunity for creativity inspired by the will to unity." However, I'm not sure how to sign in under my wordpress account.

    At any rate, just wanted to pass along this other Don Tolman site which may be useful:
    http://www.dontolmaninternational.com

    Cheers,
    Suzanna

    ReplyDelete

Videos of my journey

Loading...