Tudo Bem!

I'm back from a couple hours of going business to business, starting with the photocopy place, where they taught me how to say "I am CANADIAN", as my book did not show the proper pronunciation. So, with my photocopied brochure, and 10 portuguese words, I threw myself into it. I honed my offerings as I went; didn't think about groups and cost, so I settled on 25 Real/hour, and less if there's a group. Spoke with the hotel staff about renting their room, and they replied that it's only available for the day, ($1000 Real) or 1/2 the day. Shows to go, when you put yourself out there and start something, there's always going to be another hurdle. But it's so much better than sitting around worrying about what could happen. Commit fully to anything, and ride it out effortlessly and fun. That's what I had created for several months before I left Canada, and I had let that slide for quite sometime now.

I've spent all these years fretting about failing at sales. I actually never failed at sales, I feel I failed at DEALING with sales. Instead of looking at my experiences as making me a better, stronger person, I used them as an excuse to take chances, and put myself out there. Get on with it, move on I've said now a couple times. And it's true, focusing on how I am being WHILE i'm selling - checking in with my body, checking in with my state of mind - it's all important to enjoying the experience.

As I look back on it now, I simply happened to CHOOSE a job that dug into my achilles heel. I didn't have to take that job, and I didn't have to keep doing it. I just took that experience as meaning so much more about myself, and I've exhausted myself over 14 years trying to make up for it. What a fool......... But I'm happy. I'm glad I'm a people pleaser. I know there's a lot of people out there that I've made one moment pleasurable for them. I now focus more on the people that count, and not spreading myself thin. If I want to have an easy, comfortable job, I can have it. Just because I had some difficulties in sales, doesn't mean anything really. In fact, I could go out and be a salesman right now if I wanted to be. If so, I would have to focus on enjoying it, no matter what I'm doing, or selling. I remembered Adam's time with me too, about 5 year plans, and working backwards......... totally forgot about that. But now, is a new moment, and I'm getting a free city tour from the english speaking guyanan at 6!

Like a beacon, the communications tower at the centre of the city always will help us to facilitate directions. No need for street signs, as I haven't looked at one. Just look for the tower, and we're all good. Backwards? Not efficient? Possibly when you're trying to tell somewhere how to get somewhere, but it actually allows you to venture further through a city just by simply knowing one landmark. Similar to Burning Man Festival, and healthy for an individual's sense of direction.