Reality

I created this blog to show myself my ups and downs and really understand the absurdity of it, the confusion and self-doubt. It is so unneccessary. When things start feeling ´wrong´ with me, I automatically default to going inside myself, trying to fix it. This is classic OCD behaviour its just more generalized for me. I am fortunate that I am gentle in my ways, but the loss of life and exuberance is still just as disturbing to me, friends and family.


I watched the Aviator this morning about Howard Hughes, and he was a perfect example of a human being whos intellect, ambition, and desire to control led him down a disastrous journey within. His obsessions were heightened by his ability to buy and do whatever he wanted as one of the richest men in the world at the time. He became CEO of his fathers highly successful oil tool company at the age of 19, after his father and mother died within two years of each other.