This blog's for ME

Almost 25 years old, asking my parents if I can sleep in their bed with them. I had thought I was going to be the 25th Prime Minister of Canada. Things had changed. 10 years later, I was still a scared little boy. The time had come to slap myself awake. One Saturday morning, November 19th, 2009, I declared to the world I would be riding my 10 year-old motorcycle from Vancouver, BC Canada to Rio de Janeiro, Brasil, and back.

The official departure was August 28th, 2010. A group of well-wishers saw me off at 8:03 am.

I arrived in Rio de Janeiro around 6 pm March 1st, 2011.



My return to Vancouver came on July 5th, 2011 about 2:00 pm.

Drug & alcohol abuse, ADD, social anxiety, health, chronic pain, night terrors.

So many concerns. But I am far more interested in this question: Do I have the capacity to make this trip despite all my shortcomings?

My mission: To inspire myself to face my fears, enlighten myself on how all living things can peacefully co-exist, enjoy every moment, and see the world as plentiful and generous.

Go ahead. Call me crazy. Call me anything you like.

I'm out to save my world.



I LOVE YOU ALL



Questions, comments, concerns, threats? Contact me: jason.chapman99@gmail.com


Everybody Hurts

I have met some very powerful people who had it all, and they fall apart just like me. The more you have, the more you have to lose.

I had a sense that Ezequiel was lying. Why would he be so evasive? Was I being paranoid. He said, come on Thursday. I said but why if you say the bike is ready now why cant i come tomorrow. Ok tomorrow you can come but after 3 pm. Ok, but still what is going on Ezequiel I dont want lies why cant I come tomorrow at 8 am? Ok fine, you can come but between 12 and 1 pm.

I spent the night waking from dreams of the motorbike crashing, losing everything, and having everything in the room stolen!

Its 5 pm, and Im off to the mechanics to pick up the motorbike.

Now its 820, made it to Granada but just not happy with the sound of the bike. It just doesnt sound right. I told Ezequiel I will pay him 200 now, as the bike was not ready before monday as agreed, but that I will be back on Friday to pay him the extra 100. This way I can get any extra work required....... but I dont think he has much experience in tweaking. Turns out he was concealing the truth indeed..... I noticed the engine bottom slathered in silicone, and that is all they did after discovering the leak. I will need to do more research myself on what to do now.
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 19, 2011 at 4:30 PM

    Are we all the same, or are you and I a little more the same then others? I don’t know and perhaps it doesn’t matter but it makes me uncomfortable to read about your insights and to feel my own discomfort and recognition of truth being spoken. “Close friendships and intimate relations are filled with dread and compulsions to satisfy them somehow.” And this “I have been making small talk on facebook for 8 months now, just dipping into a large friends list to get my personal needs met. Now, I realize I have gone so long without close intimate friendship that I have spread myself too thin. I just feel off. And without much practice asking for what I want from others, I usually have to spend it alone to assure I do get my needs met.”

    I spend a lot of time avoiding – people, commitment, obligations, giving of myself, taking of others. I think I just want to live on the fringes and live how I want and to still be satisfied. I’m coming to terms with part of being satisfied is having satisfying friendships/relationships, but sometimes it all seems like too much work, requiring too much trust and doing things I don’t always want to bother with. Sometimes I think my way is born of selfishness, other times fear, other times from having been burned one too many times and just not having the spirit to try again, and really even just pure laziness – probably it is a combination of all. The bottom line is that I shy away from many personal transactions, or keep them superficial, when I dip into a deeper level I inevitably experience discomfort and find flaws and rationale for not letting things get to deep.

    It’s crazy really isn’t it? So much protecting, so many stories, so much over thinking. Just do. Just be. Let the cards fall where they will. More than that though, create, create the vision of a life that would be so fulfilling and so much more than I can imagine. So many self made barriers and excuses. Today I am feeling the fatigue from it all, the boredom, being sick of who I am and the struggles that weigh be down and hold me back from being who I want to be. I know I need to get clear and start planning a path to what I want but I often let procrastination and distractions and fatigue and plain boredom with life prevail. Ugh.

    Other days are great, but I go through spells where I just feel so stagnant and like I am so under achieving in this one brief life. I have a lot of resistance to so many things and feel so at war. No wonder I am so tired all the time.

    I just can’t help but share and to continue to tell you that what you are doing does impact those around you. For me it opens up some dialogue and makes me think. It shakes me awake a little bit and reminds me there are options. You are taking life by the horns and confronting so many things which is really awesome. Is it a permanent fix? No of course not, because as you yourself mentioned, your trials can’t be over until you have passed from this life. So this is one adventure and there will be more. I think that life is about living it as an adventure and creating as we go. Doing as little harm as we can as we travel our life and maybe even doing a whole lot of good. Create and live fully so that we don’t go through life on auto pilot because it will mean we will be happier. If that is what we want, otherwise it is all empty and meaningless and really what does it matter if we spend our life on the couch?? If that is what we want then really who cares? I think it only becomes a problem when we actually do care, when we have that feeling inside of us that craves something more. So if we are one of those, then we know it is in our best interest to seek, and to create grand adventures and strive for being the best Jason or C. that we can be for this time we have on earth.

    Keep learning and having fun enjoy your journey!

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