In an era of self-importance, and 'Me' culture, people that care for others a lot, and themselves a tiny bit, can be left out in the cold. The world is changing so fast, it is suicide to see yourself as a static, stock character: to survive you must change, or at least to feel accepted, and part of society as a whole. We do, and feel our best when we're not conscious of ourselves, and not aware of any body sensations like pain, or any internal dialogues of thought.

Mark David Chapman, John Lennon's killer, spoke of Big People, and Little People that waged a war in his head; the Little People won the night he put 4 bullets into The former Beatle. Chapman was beat without reason or remorse as a child by his father, and if a child is sensitive this can be the undoing, or unravelling for the rest of their life. Antisocial behaviours can go unnoticed, or unexplained for entire lives, and then if acted out, we put them in jail to exist behind bars until they die. What about the grandfather who molests, the father who beats, the mother that ignores or verbally abuses, the sister that teases, the community that doesn't reach out? They're only to be interviewed after something happens saying they just can't believe that their son, or brother, or sister could have done something so horrible. But they just weren't aware of cause and effect, or awake enough to see their own responsibility in the raising of a child.

I don't have any answers, if only to draw attention to my own awareness of connection - everything is connected. Yes, people have to be expected to have personal control and to be model social citizens, but if things start to get off the track, it will probably continue given the way our society runs today, and what people find important. Hey, there's been crazy people around for thousands of years, but maybe it's the same things that keeps on making them crazy. 75% of a child's brain is developed by the age of 6, and we, as a society, need to do a hell of a lot better as parents, and as a community in ensuring our children have healthy brains, and healthy hearts.

Most people are able to have kids after a simple act of fornication, and I've seen so many young, young girls with babies down here. I'm 38 years old and feel unable to raise a child properly, how could they? I know I'm being way to hard on myself. It's better to just ignore what could happen in the future and do the best with what you have. Havoc and turmoil have played parts in our lives since we began, and it won't stop now. I guess I just get in my head sometimes about people, and our future together.