Today It's Your Birthday

4o years ago today, a beautiful and precocious baby Ginger was born to two loving, and expectant parents. She was their first together, a symbol of love's enduring power, spanning the Atlantic ocean and forever binding Liverpool, England with Vancouver, BC. It was this unique blend of The Beatles and Uncle Ernie's farm that created the sensational woman we know today: Bonnie Katherine Kilroe. With a passion for entertainment, and a sincere love for every living creature, she leaves a lasting impression wherever she goes. She certainly did for me.

Bonnie taught me about love, about what it takes to surrender to someone and trust. Those fragile, and tentative first steps towards each other began on the beach without a stitch of clothing to cover ourselves. It was her who offered an invitation to see each other again, and I gladly accepted, albeit in a cool, calm fashion. She rolled into the patio of that Yaletown restaurant literally, looking outrageous in her summer dress and rollerblades. Chastising me for looking at her profile as we bladed around Stanley Park, she showed a unique, and so rare side many of us prefer to cover up: her shyness and vulnerability. I proudly guided her through the darkness, as we had continued into the summer evening, avoiding pot holes and obstacles along the way. We spent much time learning to trust each other, and eventually fall in love.

Her ability to juggle the needs of others, and her own, and still be a working performer, left me wanting to protect her and control her actions to minimize any pain. She steadfastly refused to change, and had the courage to deal with life however fast and furious it may have come. We supported each other, and every time I left because I wouldn't let myself show, or feel any intense emotions, she would take me back and give it another shot. She is a testament to love, a testament to inner strength, and believing in possibility.

I had an almost imperceptible desire to love and be loved when we first met, but her fortitude, and belief in the power of love, made me want to be a better man. We had an amazing time together and I am so fortunate our paths crossed, and blessed to have known this beautiful woman. The world is such a better place with Bonnie in it. I am such a better man as well.

Trying Again

Marivy and Victoria have been wonderful hosts here. I have my own room, have a 100 movies at my disposal, get made breakfast most mornings, and my room cleaned. Hot showers, and a key to come and go whenever i want, as well as local phone calls despite a charge for each one. I have been recovering my mind, spirit and body everyday and it has been such a welcome respite from the intensity on the road. They have been so generous with me - how can I repay them?

Well, their house is quiet, exceptionally modern, cozy and spotless,except fort he bathroom ceiling, which was the victim of some moisture problems causing the paint to bubble and flake off. The problem was, I thought, it would be a pain to try and get all the tools to complete the job properly. An instance of telling myself not to do something just because I can. So, the new question I am learning to ask myself now is, "What do I want to do, and what can I do?" The only other option was to give Victoria English lessons. She speaks Spanish every day, and hasn't spoken since grade school. Yet another problem: I hadn't taught English in 4 years, and the last time I tried, I ran out of the school not wanting anything to do with it.

My ascension into the ranks of an English as a Second Language Teacher was a new experience. As I painted the thousandth window frame on an $80,000 job in Richmond, BC, 20' in the air on a hydraulic lift, I suddenly imagined myself teaching English in Shanghai, China. Upon completion of the job, I called my client Terry to tell him I would not be taking anymore maintenance contracts, and was shutting down the company.

The process began with some phone calls to local ESL schools, and an eventual application to the University of Cambridge's CELTA program, taught at the satellite school housed in the YMCA. My first interview with Tamwood on a Friday ended up as a temporary job to last one month the following Monday. I stayed 16.

Moving up the ranks to Activities Coordinator, and level 5 conversation was a flattering, yet humbling experience. An abrupt change in curriculum left me totally lost. I spent hours thinking of lesson plans with a blank page. I became a master of disguise, trying to fool the students into thinking I was organized and ready for their classes, but I couldn't fool myself. I felt like an imposter, despite wanting so bad to be a good teacher, enjoy the students and committed to their learning. Eventually I became more and more anxious, tired, ornery and stressed each class I came up with an empty lesson plan.

I quit, and spent 3 weeks stuck in bed shivering with anxiety. It was an awful experience and I was humbled once again by my mind's ability to shut my entire life off. I had been there twice before, but despite having the knowledge of what was happening, I couldn't shake myself out of it.

So here I was with lesson plan in hand today, prepared the night before, and a bit nervous. I flashed back to the feelings and moments teaching all those years ago, and realized I had to put a positive sign on this. I chose the career, and ended up afraid of it - a demoralizing experience. What went wrong? Well, I was scared to ask for help, too scared to fail, and a perfectionist. I couldn't allow myself to fail in front of the student, so I didn't even try.

Today, we won the battle. Victoria seemed to enjoy the speed and level of English, and together we built up her confidence. I guess that's it. A team - we work together, teacher and student. Equal ground. I came to terms with my time at Tamwood, and realized I can get pretty overwhelmed with the thought of infinite choice through creating my own lesson plans. I preferred to work off of someone else's plan, so I didn't have to go through the anxiety of starting from scratch, and looking at the clock saying 12 am knowing work started at 6 the next morning. My achilles heel, so to speak, came in the form of experiences of being at the front of the class, directing a group of people, and fearing making a mistake. My fear created itself a negative experience, but I know now it wasn't ME. It was just a skill I hadn't learned, and if I stayed relaxed, and committed to it fully, I could get through my physical pain enough to create the lesson.

Kenya

My grey and white fluffy cat had been missing for several days from Bonnie's house. I wasn't worried; she's very independent and seems to stay close to home. I received an email last night from a person who was taking care of Kenya temporarily, who was sleeping on their patio chair and basically hanging around their house. As she was worried about coyotes and cars, she decided to keep Kenya until she could find her home. She called the SPCA, found my name, and consequently found my blog about trying to find a home for her and Sudan before I left. Another 6 degrees of separation, someone at the shelter I believe did some searching of her own after receiving the first person's call, and ended up getting in contact with my friend Amanda. All of this work brought Kenya back home, and Bonnie bought a couple collars for them with her phone number on them. It's flea season, so their necks are pretty full these days. Bonnie will be keeping the cat indoors, against her wishes, for a while, at least until the coyotes cool down a bit. It made me realize how little I knew the neighbors when I lived there, as Kenya ended up about 4 doors down from Bonnie's house.

Lee

At the onset of that long stretch of Southern Baja California desert, I decided to stop to take some photos of the magnificent vegetation. Within a couple of minutes a large white Dodge Dually pickup stops by, and a mean-looking white haired man exits. For some reason I'm feeling fear, and decide to face it head on. "Ola! Como estas!" I offer. No response. "Where you headed to?" he asks, and by now I'm thinking he's some landowner, or someone looking over these parts. I explain what I'm doing, and he softens. He mentions he's from Canada, not knowing where I was from. Turns out he's from Red Deer, about 45 minutes west of my home town.
Lee has been living in La Paz for awhile now, and holds citizenship in 3 countries. I gathered he was a pilot, and certainly fit the bill, with his clean crew-cut, and aviator glasses. He was heading to San Diego to see his daughter, and was forced to drive with only 4 gears, as he had just recently lost his 5th. Our conversation was interesting, and he enlightened me on several topics including flying in Mexico City (high elevation, very difficult), circumventing foreign ownership laws (the bank holds title to your property only as a national representative), and drug cartel business dealings (plata o plomo, which, literally translated means 'silver or lead', or do business with us, or die from a bullet).


He left me saying he had simply stopped to water a plant. "Which one?" I asked, thinking "What a nice man! He must be making a memorial for a fallen friend or something." "Oh, I just go out in the bush, and find one, probably that big one with the apples on it" Finally, I realize I've been away from Albertan humour in a while, and abashedly mention I wouldn't be eating any of those apples. We part ways with a giggle, and he comes over to the bike to offer some more advice on the upcoming windy road.

Don't Lose Your Passport

Somewhere between Reno, NV and Mettler, CA, Jason Chapman's passport ended up, probably the place on the side of the road where I stopped for a break, and had the bike fall over, twice. In an attempt to right the 500 pound vessel myself, the passport must have squeezed out of the pouch around my waist. What would you do if you found yourself suddenly travelling in a foreign country without a passport? Would you have a complete meltdown, sift through every bag and each pocket countless times, or call every single gas station, hotel and restaurant that you stopped at since you last recall having it? Would you endlessly retrace your steps in your mind, and imagine things being different if you had just paid more attention? Well, I engaged in all of these activities, and none of them brought me any closer to having a legal travel document of identity in my possession. Somewhere between Reno, NV and Mettler, CA, Jason Chapman's passport ended up, probably the place on the side of the road where I stopped for a break, and had the bike fall over, twice. The ensuing struggle to right the vessel probably dislodged it from my pouch. This fact created more internal tension the longer I sat and thought about it, so I eventually gave up hope of ever finding my old passport, and began the steps to replace it.
The ubiquity of the internet helped me out substantially. All the required forms are available on Passport Canada's website, as well as a detailed list of items to remember, and things not to do, to avoid any lengthy delays. It is a good idea to stay calm, and read everything thoroughly. If something does not look right to the Passport Canada people, who can be very picky, they will deny your request, and you will be forced to start the procedure all over again. Even if your signature happens to go outside of the white border indicated, your application will be denied. The passport photos, too, must conform to certain restrictions. Passport Canada demand specific dimensions, and quality of the picture itself. Personally, it took me three different photographers. in the L.A. area to get it right. The particular photo to the right was deemed unacceptable, notably for the shadows under the ears, surprisingly not because of the stunned look on my face.
Several other important steps must be taken as well. A form specifically stating that you had lost your passport must be filled out, and a guarantor is required to vouch for your identity, and must have known you for at least 2 years. The local police department must be notified and a report filled out, as passports can be a hot commodity among criminals, who use them for identity theft. It is absolutely necessary to have all of your identification, cards and documents scanned, and stored in your e-mail account, so that you can access them anywhere in the world. If all of your personal items have been stolen, you only need to get to a computer to print them off.
Obviously, the best advice is to make sure you don't lose your passport in the first place. It can easily ruin your entire vacation, especially if you are only gone for a week or two. Missed flights, and being late for work just aren't an option for a busy family who simply tried to get away for a short trip. But, we are human, and things happen. The good news is that you're going to be ok, and by preparing before-hand, as well as following Passport Canada's requirements, you will be on your way with minimal stress and discomfort. Failing that, you can always make the most of it, and enjoy an unplanned extension to your holiday.

Billy & The Beach Party

The extraordinary amount of organizing and multi-tasking came down to a huge reliance on friends. It was a definite advantage to have a little money to get things going. The sound system ($100), burgers & condiments ($240), rehearsal time & space ($210), hall and patio rental ($500) made for a hell of an organizational moment by moment plan. We pulled in $940 at the door consisting of $10 tix each, which included a beer. The night's tally on my credit card for those beers was $538. All said and done the total loss was over 5 bills, but I dare anyone to feed, entertain, and give prizes out to over 120 people for that. I was committed to having value for people, and to create an amazing memorable night. Bonnie's generous assistance with the screen, and projector hooked up to my laptop, as well as Amanda & Geoff's karaoke efforts, completed the experience.
By the time the police showed up to look into a noise complaint, the night had gone on without a hitch. Our final song, "Sweet Caroline" had every single person up dancing and singing. Jed and Sayo took over for a few songs, and it gave me a chance to connect with a few friends, and rest the voice.
The most miraculous of experiences for me was the transcendence of self. I chose to ignore self-conscious, and completely be generous to the people out there. It created a larger than life persona, and one that is necessary to bring together such a wide variety of people. We had the Latinas dancing in the corner, Marcel doing the funky moves on the dance floor, and all kinds of different groups of people conversing and sharing.
For the beach portion, it was me and Terry. That's it. The 2 am dip was chilly, but as my heart was warm, I could ignore it. The realization that my keys, wallet, and phones were all locked away in the Legion, forced an early experience of losing everything. I welcomed it.

After befriending some mid-20 folks on the beach, calming them down after Terry put a bottle under their tire, I felt anything was possible. There was still some miles to get back to bed, and I was without anything to make it there, except my feet, which I loathed as an option. A couple guys were walking across the street, and I flagged them down and explained. As I was using their cellphone, I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out a visa. Terry, who had vanished moments earlier, pulled up with a cab, and called me over. I do know that everything worked out without panic, and that there is always a helping hand when needed. My reliance on phones, and credit cards, and money has completely washed away my confidence in living without them.

Drumheller

I was so proud of Alberta Tourism for the work they had done at the Royal Tyrell Museum, and the town in general. I was authentically excited to see THE exhibit of dinosaurs in the entire world. World class attraction, world class fun.

Canada Day

Canada's 143rd birthday party has come and gone, another year completed as a nation. The Salmon Festival in idyllic Steveston, B.C. was one of many venues across the country that was alive with a congregation of people on July 1st. Some were just happy to have an excuse not to work, while others undoubtedly had a more profound experience. Apparel purchased for the Vancouver Olympic Games were once again on display, and a certain national pride was evident, as youngsters by the hundreds draped their Nation's flags around their shoulders with pride.
Aside one shoving match between a couple teenaged men, the day was peaceful, fun and harmonious. Although the weather was undecided, it was clear Canadians here intended to hold an event that was inclusive to all. People of all races watched entertainment together, visited the trade shows, pigged out on cotton candy and hot dogs, and played in the waterpark. Women wearing burkas casually walked with around with their families, and the energy of children laughing filled the space.
In light of recent events in Toronto at the G20 summit, is Canada's historical matriarchal role of peace in jeopardy? After 150 soldier casualties in Afghanistan, can we really say we as a nation are supporters of multiculturalism, and global oneness? Canadians once again showed their true colours July 1st, our nation renewed once again as a beacon in this world for us all to get along and enjoy life together.