Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried about being popular and too concerned about being renewed.
I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.
I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
If you think you have it tough, read history books.
Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'
It's all been satirized for your protection.
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.
Men are only as loyal as their options.