Thanks Mom

thanks mom just a quick note i'm going through a lot right now but i am happy. i have realized i've been doing things i don't want to do for years and years and years. i haven't really been happy since high school! always so fearful of not having any money....... this whole b.comm thing and business has been a decision i didn't want to make......... but i did it. I lost myself!

please don't be concerned. i think this trip has revealed a lot for me. I've done a lot of things to make money, and i know it doesn't make me happy. i've become a shell of a man trying to chase it, and it never comes. i will find the courage everyday to listen to what makes me feel alive. So many years of depression and sadness - there's no manual out there on how to be jason, so I'm writing it as I go along. Right now i'm searching youtube for videos that make me laugh, searching biographies on people that interest me, listening to music that i like. it's a start. I guess I always thought i had to do something i didn't want to do to survive in life. I took it to the extreme, and now my life feels a mess. But if I can find a way to keep on this path, I will be ok! I know there are some things you have to do that you don't like, but there are many times when you can do exactly what you want to do. Doing things that you enjoy, turn you on, make you laugh, get you out of your head, out of your pain. It's the best i can do.

Thank you for your update mommy they're great and always put me in a good mood especially the emoticons.

I love you both very much,

the mechanic thinks the bike is ready tomorrow - it was the pickup, next to the stator and is involved in ignition. he may even be retrofitting an old part to work on my bike but i can't be sure. will keep you posted.

Love J