Paciencia

Today Cico and I started off the day with an amazing conversation. I had told him I was upset with a conversation my girlfriend and I had had the night before, and it went from there. He was quite surprised about the life I described for him of what Canada has been like for me. Competitive, always on the go, always looking for more money. I tried to blame it on my neighbour, but he nailed it - it was me. It was me who was creating this need to be better, to be the best. In his world, he runs a restaurant, hotel, and convenience store, and doesn't use a bank. He's lived in the bachelor's apartment above the restaurant for 15 years. Whenever money comes in, he uses it to upgrade the buildings. I really got the freedom and ease as to how he lives his life - within his own means. It reminds me of the Iranian fellow I befriended back in Vancouver who said they don't use credit cards in his country. If you are poor, you stay poor. Basically, you accept the way your life is, and that's it. I thought at the time it was unfair to those people who are poor, but I question that now.
If we are in the poor bracket, we only know we are poor if we COMPARE. If there is no comparison, there is no problem. The problem some non-profit organizations have is that they favour one person, or one family, and the rest of the community become jealous. It is easy to look at someone in the third world and think their life is so horrible, and that we must do something. Our help can be misguided so easily, as we come and go for a couple weeks, throw some cash in to the mix, and expect change. First, it's important to accept that everything is ok the way it is. Why do people want to help others in third world countries and they haven't talked to their own brother for 6 months? Interesting.
Overall, it made me realize how impatient I am. I want it all now. If I don't get it, I start to worry that I won't have enough, and start an elaborate planning session of how I can make my self better. Life is a constant battle, a constant struggle. Sure, things would have been different had I not worked so hard to change my life, but it wouldn't have been better or worse. Yo quisiera estar tranquilo. I would like to be peaceful.