Departures

As September 1st comes around, students in the Western World have to consider an exciting, yet often challenging time of the year: returning to school after a seemingly timeless summer. For parents, it too is an adjustment, one that requires them to entrust their babies to another, in hopes of them learning skills to succeed in the world.
As a metaphor, it is the necessary departure of the children they love, from the familial nest they were borne to, as they take to the skies. In these families, they will return home as soon as school, or extra-curricular activities are finished but for others, the return can take days, weeks or even more. Whether it's University, or moving out to get a job, this new found independence, is a necessary, and healthy eventuality, as this new adult sets off to find it's new wings. It can be a time of uncertainty and worry, but the part mom and dad play is crucial in setting them onto a healthy start.
Every parent has either dealt with, or will deal with the emotions that come with their children leaving them. The unique life experience of bringing a new human being into the world, and protecting, teaching and loving it in the most special way, is abruptly halted. A fresh perspective is ushered in, and the inevitable adjustment begins. How does one cope with all the conflicting emotions that come up?
Let's go back to the metaphor of flying. Have you ever had the misfortune of finding a baby bird seemingly helpless, flitting around the bushes, trying to remain undetected, but desperate to take flight? How hard is it to not want to pick that bird up, and somehow feel you are helping it by taking it in your hands, or bringing it inside the house? Often, once you have picked it up, you have doomed yourself, and it. Now, it wouldn't be wise to simplify a human relationship as such would it? Yes and no.
As a species, us humans take longer than any other to raise their offspring, as we not only have the luxury, but we crave to teach them all the necessary skills to survive. How did Napoleon manage to lead his own army at the age of 16, but some kids today don't even have a job by that time? The realities of war have been avoided in our country for 65 years. We all have a roof over our head, 3 squares every day, and enough time to play a few hours of video games, and watch TV. Despite the 'easy life', these young adults can bloom once they leave home, but the most important skill they had to have learned is persistence. If they give up too easy, it could lead to problems down the road. What can you do if it happens?
A parent's job is to guide their child without showing them the way. The toughest job on earth, parenting can test you in ways unimaginable, but if you commit yourself fully to letting go, it can be satisfying beyond belief. This fall, give yourself the chance to trust in your child's abilities to manage, and that by giving them the opportunity to truly fly on their own, you give them a gift that lasts a lifetime. With that in mind, a good pair of binoculars wouldn't hurt either.