Something That People Want

Have you ever had an opportunity to be able to give something to the universe that a lot of people want? Lady Ga Ga has been experiencing this for the last 12 months, where a global phenomenon has been created from her creativity and essence. I decided to throw some feelers out for my apartment on Broadway and Cambie, and lo and behold over 50 people emailed me about it. Now, we'll see if anyone actually takes it.

Sisyphus

Walking by the GM Place walkway this morning at 8 am, I see a sign on a post saying "Construction site DO NOT ENTER" with yellow plastic warning tape stretched out on the path. I thought nothing of it, until around 11 am when the Manager from Costco calls me to say 4 people posing as construction workers with yellow hats are rappelling off the sides of my railing above their store, stretching a massive banner decrying their business policies to do with tuna. I went over to see what was going on, and saw the fear in the eyes of the 4 20 something kids as I approached them. I said "you should have a cigarette dangling out of your mouths, it would be more authentic". Still the fear. So, I calmly asked them "How long do you think you'll be here?" and they replied "As long as we can". I told them it was my job to state that this was private property, and that it was also my job to ask them to leave. They thanked me and acknowledged that I did my job. I was happy with that. I didn't force them off the premises, I didn't fight with them, or make them wrong. By 3:00 pm, they were gone, and my window washing company had brought everything down: 3 beautifully painted animals - a turtle, bluefin tuna, and shark, a massive binder, many hooks, karabiners, and brand new rope. Quite a few hours, and dollars spent on this project, and all of it for 6 hours of publicity. It seemed a Sisyphean tragedy to me, and questioned how well my $20 per month was being spent.

Resistance to Another Person

Fear to share what's really going on, and not trusting in your own words can be a prison. So much anger stored up inside, over some wrong doing of another, or something from the past. No matter if that person is trying to help you, or help the situation, if you perceive your back is up against the wall, you will only see them as an enemy, and you will fight. Remember this when you are trying to help your child, or your partner through a difficult time. You can't help them, or try to fix the situation, it will only make it worse. You have to find a way to 'be' with the emotions that they show, and have the courage to see it through. We are resilient, us humans, and we get into more trouble than we avoid, by denying ourselves our true power in difficult situations.
Those rare cases of people who have felt loved, safe, and secure, and have no interest in needing to find more, or get more, would have very little knowledge of the primal fear that people who are troubled emotionally and mentally experience. We put the label 'crazy' on it, and throw them out in the trash. Well, that trash never goes away, it is the garbage we all try to ignore, until the stench of it overwhelms and we have to burn it forever.
Horrific acts done against our fellow men are a result of years of ignoring someone's basic needs.

Canucks

I love sports, and I probably have spoke about this before. Am I being a whiny weeny for noting that a 4th line hockey player earns $500,000 per year? I'm just angry, despite knowing that I am doing nothing to deal with it, despite knowing I am only adding fuel to the fire. Complaining about something is a coward's way of expecting change.

Small Town or Big City

As the trend towards urbanization continues to grow around the world, it's fair to say there is a psychological battle around the globe as to the best place to live, work and play. That warfare continues it's neverending blitzkrieg everytime a young man or woman graduates from high school. What will it be - stay in a small town, or move to the big city?
I grew up loving my hometown. It had everything I ever wanted. It didn't matter what Stettler, Alberta had to offer - I had my imagination. With imagination, anything was possible. Growing up on a 1/4 section of land south of town, I was able to play on seemingly endless rows of massive, golden straw bales, catch dainty fairy shrimp in the ponds, or get lost in the bushes for hours. Often I would try to squeeze as many things into my day, and no matter what, I would enjoy it to the fullest. I didn't need any company, but it was nice to know there was someone around.
Walking down the streets would always be an exercise in remembering people's names, and asking about how they're related to whom and such and such. Having several relatives who lived in the area guaranteed meeting someone you knew every single day while shopping for groceries or playing baseball. You never had to lock your door, because everyone knew you, and you knew everyone. Going out to social functions meant meeting up with at least a few people you had known since kindergarten. As we technically lived outside of town, but within the county limits, we were able to still hang out with the farm kids, but go to school with the town kids. It was the best of both worlds, although the bus ride into town was hell on earth when someone decided to pick on you for being a 'town kid'. Ah, the 'good ole days'. Seriously, despite risking misguided sentimentality, growing up in Stettler was amazing. So good in fact, my immediate future choices hinged on staying close enough to visit on weekends.
Weekends turned to months, and months to decades, and I find myself in the metropolis of Vancouver, Canada's 3rd largest city, and arguably the most diverse ethnically, and in lifestyle choices. Opportunities for exciting change, new business and career ventures, and the unknown enticed me through Red Deer, Calgary, and Edmonton, before coming to B.C. almost 8 years ago. Each progressive step, I courageously, yet failingly attempted to maintain my small town attitudes of friendliness to everybody. It always seemed like people just didn't like me or something, but that small town charm won them over everytime and I am so proud to say I have developed lifelong friendships scattered throughout Western Canada. But what is it about Big City folks? It took me up until a few months ago to finally accept what the city dweller attitude about people is - I don't have time to help you so stop bothering me. It's true for the most part, without considering close relationships, that a lot of people have been very put off with my way of being open, inquisitive, and friendly. "What do you want from me?" It must have driven them crazy.
Grow up in a small town, and raise your kids in a small town. The world is a better place for it. Being DINK's (Double Income No Kids), my girlfriend and I can always justify staying near the excitement and constant movement of city life without having to worry about how it will affect our children. Running constantly from work, to dinner, to the gym, to bed only to do it again, can wear the strongest of us out. The only way to survive, is to think about yourself, and how you can get ahead in a hyper-competitive environment.

Foster Homes

Being adopted, I can say I honestly feel a community raised me. My parents and sister had the most direct affect on me in my formative years, but the saying "It takes a village" rings true in my heart. No ownership, only guardianship; simply watching over a child without possessing it.
As I prepare for my trip, the unenviable task of finding a foster home for my two cats Kenya and Sudan has come upon me. No, I will not soon miss the cleaning of the litter, but I do feel they are a part of me. I can understand a bit of how a parent feels when it has to leave it's children. Dianna, a mother from Surrey, BC has expressed interest in taking them, and I'll be giving her $50 a month while I'm gone to cover food and expenses. When I return in April 2011, we'll make a decision together as to whether they will come back with me, or stay with her. I feel responsible for them, but in no means do I think that someone else could do worse in taking care of them. She sounds like a good soul, which is a relief for me. I will miss having them around, but I know this will be the best for them.

The Corporate World

"I look at life from both sides now." - Joni Mitchell. It's a wonder we get anything done, but really this is a magical existence, this being human. Sure, it can be the depths of hell, but living on this earth on the top of the food chain has it's advantages. One can argue that all that spare time not having to worry about where the next meal is coming from can create more trouble than it's worth. All that spare time to worry, or get depressed, or drink 5 too many beers can, as they say be 'the devil's handiwork'. It's all a metaphor, and one that passes on from generation to generation. An important one involves hard work.
The harder you work, the more money you make, the more successful you are. Not in China. What if your wife leaves you because you're never home? I think any of us who have found 'success', in whatever form it may exist in the mind of the beholder, have had to make some compromises. In the flurry of activity that our society would deem an acceptable level of hard work, things get missed, glossed over, ignored. Things that one would never do seem to occur on a regular basis. Success feels good. It's not worth the sacrifice to do what's right, to do what's important. A human must succeed.
I overheard a conversation yesterday between a contractor, and another gent. It seems they had had a relationship of sorts from the past, and I can only guess that the contractor had given this person a job to help them out before. Using my own pure judgement, his appearance would deem him in the category of a 'homeless person'. He spoke eloquently, and calmly as he gave the contractor a low-down on what had transpired between him and the job boss at another construction site. According to him, the boss grabbed him by the ring of his safety harness and pulled him around. Long story short, this person was in talks with some sort of governmental, or human rights advocate about this incident. In fact, he said he had written a 144 page document, that, if charged out for overtime, and hourly wage, would have earned him over $44,000. This is what he will be claiming. I know I'm making him wrong for this, but my logic tells me it's not quite that simple. My decision will have no impact on the situation at all.
I just wonder, what could this obviously intelligent, and hardworking individual do for the world if he put that time, and energy into Big Brothers, or a Youth Emergency Shelter? He said he doesn't care about the money, he just wants everyone to know that he's right, and the other guy was wrong. Isn't that why we have hundreds of lawyers in the phone book? Humans......
I do not condone any of the actions on the bossman. He definitely stepped in it. What could be available for him if he would have just treated this other guy in a respectable manner? He probably learned that that was ok from his own boss. It is impossible for any of us mere mortals to see the ripple effect of our actions, even if someone else ends up hearing a conversation. It's so silly, so trite. Our world is dying, and all we are concerned with is "I'm right, you're wrong." When it's all over, we'll all be saying "it was his fault, not mine".

Kleenex

So now you HAVE to have the cleanest hands in town. One single microscopic organism on your hands and you will not be voted the cleanest person in town. My sarcasm. The girls and boys at Kleenex are thinking of one thing: I gotta sell Kleenex, but how??? Oh, let's replace towels! Here comes my promotion baby!!!! I can see this getting worse than the plastic water bottle phenomenon.

http://www.kleenex.com/handtowels/

A Journey Before It's Begun

I never knew the journey would have begun so soon. Admittedly rarely over-the-moon excited about embarking on my trip, I have often sunk into great fear about what I'm throwing away: all the work I've done to build up a home, just to start again. But what I am striving for, is to create stability that is separate from the outside world of materials, that stability hopelessly craved for by hoarders. No, I strive to create an inner stability and calm regardless of what is going on in my life. I've been having stomach problems for almost 3 years, and I just put up with it. I had some lasagna for breakfast leftover from last night, and left it at that for the rest of the day, drinking water. It was shocking to see how many hunger pains, and mood changes I went through; it was clear I'm an emotional eater, and use all kinds of sweets and treats to change where I'm at. In my mind, the best thing for a positive change in life is to 'throw your hat over the fence'. This idiom of the English language refers to setting a date in the future for a grand plan, then work your way towards it. It effectively slides through all the slings and arrows of the human's mentality to avoid, and procrastinate doing the things they've always wanted to. It's not easy, but it's simple.

Power Addicts

The Passionate Eye tonight was referring to our addiction to power, and "like all addicts, we will do anything to get our fix". There's an email going around now that shows some evidence to serious damage on the sea floor that could pierce ancient methane beds, that when released, would instantly kill any living thing on the Eastern Seaboard. Every civilization before us has annihilated itself over resources, but never before has a civilization had the power to wipe out millions of lives.

Departures

As September 1st comes around, students in the Western World have to consider an exciting, yet often challenging time of the year: returning to school after a seemingly timeless summer. For parents, it too is an adjustment, one that requires them to entrust their babies to another, in hopes of them learning skills to succeed in the world.
As a metaphor, it is the necessary departure of the children they love, from the familial nest they were borne to, as they take to the skies. In these families, they will return home as soon as school, or extra-curricular activities are finished but for others, the return can take days, weeks or even more. Whether it's University, or moving out to get a job, this new found independence, is a necessary, and healthy eventuality, as this new adult sets off to find it's new wings. It can be a time of uncertainty and worry, but the part mom and dad play is crucial in setting them onto a healthy start.
Every parent has either dealt with, or will deal with the emotions that come with their children leaving them. The unique life experience of bringing a new human being into the world, and protecting, teaching and loving it in the most special way, is abruptly halted. A fresh perspective is ushered in, and the inevitable adjustment begins. How does one cope with all the conflicting emotions that come up?
Let's go back to the metaphor of flying. Have you ever had the misfortune of finding a baby bird seemingly helpless, flitting around the bushes, trying to remain undetected, but desperate to take flight? How hard is it to not want to pick that bird up, and somehow feel you are helping it by taking it in your hands, or bringing it inside the house? Often, once you have picked it up, you have doomed yourself, and it. Now, it wouldn't be wise to simplify a human relationship as such would it? Yes and no.
As a species, us humans take longer than any other to raise their offspring, as we not only have the luxury, but we crave to teach them all the necessary skills to survive. How did Napoleon manage to lead his own army at the age of 16, but some kids today don't even have a job by that time? The realities of war have been avoided in our country for 65 years. We all have a roof over our head, 3 squares every day, and enough time to play a few hours of video games, and watch TV. Despite the 'easy life', these young adults can bloom once they leave home, but the most important skill they had to have learned is persistence. If they give up too easy, it could lead to problems down the road. What can you do if it happens?
A parent's job is to guide their child without showing them the way. The toughest job on earth, parenting can test you in ways unimaginable, but if you commit yourself fully to letting go, it can be satisfying beyond belief. This fall, give yourself the chance to trust in your child's abilities to manage, and that by giving them the opportunity to truly fly on their own, you give them a gift that lasts a lifetime. With that in mind, a good pair of binoculars wouldn't hurt either.

Retired Title

My journey from the depths of fear, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem would not have been possible without my friends, colleagues, and family. My honesty may be uncomfortable at times, but if I can give one person the feeling that they are ok when they need it the most, I know my job has been done. Sometimes, that one person might only be me.

I am learning how to communicate in ways that work for everyone - that people feel understood, and easy to understand me. This blog is about my inevitable stumbles, and hopeful steps back up to laughter, connection, and hope for everything on the earth.

Let's have some fun, too!

I LOVE YOU ALL.