My Bonita

Bonnie was not happy with these pictures being broadcast around the world. I was. A couple times she mentioned her disdain for them and how she wanted them gone. Totally understand. Obviously, when someone asks you to take their pictures off, you do. Well, I didn't. This wasn't some form of cruel punishment in my mind; I liked the pictures. Sure, if I really look at the pictures, I could see how my Bonnie's face looks a bit contorted and silly, but I'm not going to that place of causing another human being irrepairable harm to themselves or their character.

I'm thinking dating me is somewhat like dating Howard Stern - a public figure who will publicize his, and his partner's innermost thoughts, feelings, and interactions for the world to see. It can be a drag.

Do you believe the truth shall set you free? I'm willing to die for my truth. I've died a thousand deaths trying to be what I thought people wanted me to be.

When I took these shots, i wanted to share with the world how amazing my girlfriend is for coming all the way to Puerto Vallarta, donning a motorcycle helmet, and heading out to god knows where in another country. I was filled with hope and optimism for all of us, just from one person's actions. Nothing is impossible for us, and our world.

Taking a fork in the road here conversationally, I think it's hard to really relate to someone's actions, and all the thoughts, considerations, and inspirations for them until you are really there..... a 'walk a mile in his moccassins' adage to the nth degree. For some, it would be incomprehensible to do just what Bonnie did, without even a 2nd thought.

And another fork: Eleanor Roosevelt (bless her heart) once said "I will only give my opinion when it is asked of me." Fair enough. Smart woman, and well versed in human relationships. What if that person does not have the ability to ask for advice? What if that dog on the street has no owner to take care of it tonight? How about this: Respect a person's need to write their own life's story, but offer them a candlelight with which to see it from? I believe we can help each other so much, but to offer help carries a great, great responsibility and should not be carried lightly.

Now, back to the front page: under these circumstances, it's virtually impossible to really understand someone's choices when you consider the environment, their mood, situations in their day, the people they're with, the weather, their personality, the people who influenced their lives, their ability to deal with stress, how many tequila shooters they had, and so on, and so on. There are a million and one reasons to misunderstand each other, and only one to understand.

Bonnie and I really had a wonderful week together, and although it's arguably pretty easy to get along in one of the most beautiful places on earth, we had some rough times. These tough times were all created through misunderstandings. When one person is absolutely convinced that the other is doing something with a sole intention to harm, or damage the other, it's hard to come through without the defensive mechanisms coming up. Spines, teeth, claws, poisonous venom: we, as humans have an astounding array of attack, and defense mechanisms far more dangerous and debilitating.

How do we all find the patience, and self-control, to do away with our human need to protect that destroys our intimate relationships, and yet still feel safe enough to function? You make a choice, and you stick with that choice until you go to sleep. When you wake up the next morning, you make another choice. Saying 'forever' for anything can invite regret and disappointment, despite making everyone happy and optimistic for the future. Do our human minds really have the ability to understand, or even adequately deal with 'forever'? Yes, I think it does, on one condition. That condition is that the person recommits to their 'forever' agreement every single day. It could be a diet, an attitude, or a relationship. We're not that different. Sure, some of us know exactly what forever means, and some of us don't. For those who don't, I request that you don't throw it around lightly, and conversely that you don't refrain from using it. Every single one of us has the ability to embrace 'forever', but few of us really know how.