Having an extraordinary life is never farther away than breaking throughh patterns. The patterns themselves, to me, can seem like a 20" thick wall of platinum when I face them, but its all perceived. Met another sleeptalker last night, and it was freeing to have a group of people and I talk about sleeptalking and what I said and all laughing about it. They thought I was an army guy because of the terminology I used in my sleep 2 nights ago. So, this big ugly thing I was embarrassed about for my whole life has come down to this. Tell people, share with them, and let it go. Hi my name is Jason. I'm a sleeptalker. Hi my name is Jason. I'm scared of intimacy and commitment. Hi my name is Jason. I am scared of a lot of things, but I will live everyday with courage, and continue doing what I believe is right.
And the bug that was tearing at my eyeball on the moto return ride stayed in there all night, leaving it brightred and sore, puffy. I get regular, welcome check-ins from Eddie and Mom but the friendship base has withered to nothing. It left me feeling very lonely and angry. I went through a moment of 'you could really care less about me', to realizing I am not calling any of my freinds, nor talking to them directly, besides a once a year drop in. What the hell do I expect? I fell into the trap of facebook, quick comments on life and shallow, surface talk. So, if I were to choose 3 people to get back into contact with, who would they be?
I go into Granada today, and leave island life behind. Sad to say goodbye; this island has been an insular, safe world for 2 weeks. The bike, I expect, will be ready between today and Wednesday, making it 1 month, and 4 - 6 days of waiting. But we are almost at the end, and it has been a good learning experience to stop and face myself for a while.
I just called Ezequiel and he said the motorbike will be ready by 3 pm today.
A Lot of people miss you and look forward to you seeing you when you return.
ReplyDeleteThank you. That made a difference
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