Party Time

I know how to deal with people. I deal with myself. That is how. The discomfort, the physical sensations, the crazy thoughts, the impulse to either please or push away, all in one bundle called Jason and people. I wouldn't take all the times back where I screwed up; it certainly has made me more compassionate to others with loose lips and strange behaviours. We're all scared of people, we just deal with it differently. We all want to be loved and accepted.





Both Joao's and Kike's dads were inspirations for these thoughts. Older guys who have been steadily successful in long careers. Both calm, very calm and very comfortable to be around. I'm sure they don't always feel like being around people, but they do it anyways, and deal with it on their own terms. Just like the rest of us.





There's a time and place to be a jackoff. There's a time and place to blurt something out. There's a time and place to try and be funny. Save that for the family and close friends, and then at that, there's really no need for it. People will accept me as long as I give them space to live in their own world without feeling a cringe whenever they walk by me. Most people will not tell you if you've upset them, they will just stop dealing with you. So, the key to success with the general population is to not even go there. Life isn't about constantly proving if someone likes you or not.

I also remembered the healing power of deep breathing. All of what I've learned in the last almost 7 months go down the drain when I'm in pain. Pain is a direct result of a lack of oxygen to that part of the body. Anxiety and stress are both a cause and effect of short shallow breathing, which makes the whole experience that much more intolerable, as well as harmful to the body, causing pain after the long term.

So, how will I celebrate, and practice my new found calm and peaceful skills? Well, Kike's friend owns a nice restaurant, so we'll go there. Then, maybe a pub and some talking in a language I hardly know but will resort to english if need be - lots of them speak it here.