I Shall Not Fear

Just over 5 months to go. Arivederce, right? Not quite. My parents quietly deny me even going. It doesn't seem to even fit within their comprehension. Despite them being the 2nd, and 3rd people to find out, they steadfastly perform a gentle refusal of the fact. A very close friend of mine, Eddie, has been reduced to tears in the last week, feverishly sending ads for GPS equipment from the internet. It doesn't matter that he's 82 years old, but the intensity to which his worry has compounded has shaken me a bit. (That's Eddie to the right of me, and Steve on the left.)

A bit of history on his emails, starting shortly after my declaration of November 19th.

TELL ME THAT WHAT YOU SAID WAS A JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE. (November 22nd)

THIS WAS A JOKE?

LET ME KNOW. (november 23rd)

I DIDN'T SLEEP MUCH.I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEEP WORRYING SO MUCH.

I AM TRYING TO STOP.

YOU HAVE TO BE EXTREMELY ORGANIZED.KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU SLEEP IN AND WHERE YOU STAY. ALL SAFE PLACES. THE CULTURES ARE DIFFERENT.

NO DIRECT LOOKING IN EYES AS CRAZEES TAKE OFFENCE. SUN GLASSES

ARE BEST. DON'T TRAVEL IN THE DARK. LAWS ARE DIFFERENT, PRISONS ONLY ENJOYABLE TO SADISTS AND CRAZIES.

YOU NEED A GOOD GPS. SOME FRIENDS FOLLOWING YOU BY CAR.

MAPS. TRAVELERS CHECKS-NOT MONEY. ADDRESSES NAMES AND PHONE NO'S OF EMBASSIES. TAKE MAIN ROADS. NO SIDE RDS.

AVOID DARK PLACES. PEOPLE IN WARM COUNTRIES ARE FAMILY ORIENTED AND STRANGERS CAN BE PERCEIVED AS ENEMIES.

DON'T DRESS ABOVE THE AVERAGE PERSON.

SORRY I SHOULD KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT AND KEEP PRAYING FOR YOU.

I WILL THINK OF SPONSORS.ALL THE BEST. (November 23rd)

I HOPE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND AND GO TO HAWAII. (November 23rd)

WATCH WHAT YOU DRINK EVEN WATER.DON'T GET HIGH ON DRUGS OR C2H5OH .THESE ARE POOR PEOPLE WHO DO ANYTHING TO GET VERY LITTLE.

RXS NEEDED.A PHYSICAL BEFORE YOU GO. SAFE PLACES FOR ADDRESSES-PHONE NOS. (November 23rd)

JUST HEARD THAT THE FELLOW I SPOKE TO YOU ABOUT WORKING ON A CRUISE SHIP LEARNING TO BE A CAPT. TOOK A CAB DOWN IN CENTRAL AMERICA. HE WAS DRIVEN DOWN A BACK LANE DUMPED OUT AND ATTACKED BY A GROUP OF WAITING BIG GUYS-ROBBED AND BEATEN AND GOT AWAY WITH HIS LIFE BY OUTRUNNING THEM.(DAYTIME EVENT)

CAPT CHEWED HIM OUT FOR NOT GOING WITH OTHERS. (November 23rd)

COUPLE OF CHARITIES COME TO MIND.

DAVID FOSTER FOUNDATION--TRANSPLANTS FOR KIDDIES

CHILDRENS -CANNUCK HOUSE

BC TRANSPLANTS

I WILL THINK OF OTHERS (November 23rd)

Steve tells me tonight, "y'know mate, if things with Bonnie and you get hot and heavy, you don't have to go on this trip". Steve's an Aussie.

I totally understand the love and support of my closest friends, but it is starting to discourage me and by association my fear is coming up. I'm now over $2,000 behind my budget month to month. Oh, and did I mention gang-style slayings in Mexico, 11 murders in El Salvador a day, guerillas in the Darien Gap of Panama and rumours of the assassination of Chavez in Venezuela?

I will be riding my motorcycle to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil from Vancouver, Canada. Somewhere between 11 and 15,000 kilometres. This doesn't concern me at all. I also get the impression others before me have planned several years before embarking through arguably the most dangerous and unstable countries in the world. I am well aware that things are different outside of 'my little bubble'. That being said, I am not afraid. The only thing that scares me is the thought that I will have thoughts, feelings, and impulsions that have me frozen in fear in another country. Not only another country, but another culture, language, environment and most definitely state of mind. It is why I must go.