Happiness is......

What is your definition of happiness? Bonnie is laying on my couch with two cats draped all over her. All three are completely blissed out right now. Compare this to a hurried and rushed day, accomplishing, go-getting, and can-doing. Who says we have to DO SO MUCH?

On another note, I've mentioned to close friends before that my vision of perfection is having every single human being I've ever known or met, to meet in a large country field on the farm in Stettler on a nice warm sunny day. Time wouldn't exist, and worries had no space to settle. I would just spend the whole time mulling from conversation to conversation.

Reminiscing today on the old Christmas and New Year's parties we would have at my aunt's house just a few miles south of Stettler. Our farm was a mile and a half south, so she lived a few more away from town. There was probably 10 houses between us and her, and it was a 10 minute drive away. Gives you an idea of how isolated we were. She was an amazing storyteller, avid card player, and great listener. Toy dog collector, coin collector, and an Encyclopedia Brittanica collection that taught me the names of hundreds of animals while my mom and her talked at the kitchen table.

Those parties hosted up to 50 people at a time, and most were relations: cousins, uncles, aunts, grandmas, great aunts. I only wish I appreciated it more when I was there, as so many have passed away, not to mention that lifestyle hasn't been experienced in over 20 years for me. I remember feeling so at ease with all these people, and just zoning out on the carpet playing with some toys or watching tv. Noboby ever asked me to do anything, or impress them, or entertain them. Not completely true, as mom would often ask for help to move a table, but that was about it. The preparations and work that was put into it were all behind the scenes. The men would sit in the living room and watch sports, and the ladies would stay in the kitchen preparing, presenting, and subsequent cleanup of the food.

Do you share these thoughts, or a nostalgic feeling about those times with big families in Canada? In less than 20 years, my entire culture has changed. Everything I see before me today has absolutely no connection with that time then. I wonder aloud if these changes contribute to one's mental breakdown, the disconnect with other known and familial people, and the invariable isolation one creates for themselves when they are in pain, or confused, or lost. Medication must be the absolute last resort for mental health disorders. Connections with family must be restored, and that primal love must be brought back into someone's life for them to thrive. Perhaps it's why those with really big egos seem to outperform the sensitive, self-conscious, thoughtful souls. They are just so self-assured that they will be loved and protected by a combination of themselves and whomever, that they are more resilient to breakdowns, and set backs. Life is full of them folks.